Three steps to amazing speed dating

Three steps to amazing speed date.

Speed dating is a great way to meet new people. You know that everyone is single and women are actually paying to meet you! It sounds like a dream come true. Well, it is, but speed dating does not come without its own potential pitfalls. In this article, I will address some of these pitfalls and discuss how to avoid them. Less blunders equals more matches and dates after each event for you.

It stings when you speed date and you feel as if you have connected with a number of women during an event, but then find out a few days later that there are no matches waiting in your mailbo x. When this happens, it's easy to blame every woman that you met for not liking you or come to the rationalization that you didn't like anyone at the event. It's also easy to go into despair and think that no one likes you. I will offer you a much better solution by helping you spot your speed dating mistakes and getting you on track to not only meeting more women at each speed dating event, but also meeting women that you want.

I suggest arriving at the speed dating event a few minutes early. This way you'll have enough time to grab a drink and feel more comfortable, instead of arriving a few minutes late and having to scramble to get to the event.

#1 Mind set is what matters

We tend to spend a lot more time focusing on our clothing when going on a date, but much less time devoted to focusing on our own mind set. This is probably the biggest mistake guys make because they are putting too much emphasis on dressing up and not enough emphasis on thinking positive and seeing themselves as fun and attractive. Women feel that if you are confident, then you are attractive. You should be well groomed because, let's face it, in this day and age, it's practically mandatory. The next time you are getting ready for a speed date, take five minutes away from your grooming time and remind yourself that women are at the event for a reason, and that reason is to meet you: a fun, relaxed and confident man. To do this, think of some success that you have had in the past. Remind yourself of how you have faced some challenges and dealt with them. Get in a state of confidence by listening to music that puts you in a confident mood, give yourself a pep talk, or do anything that you normally do to gain your assured personality. Remind yourself that you are a cool guy who values himself and the women will find you attractive and will want to know more about you.

#2 Don't be too serious.

When we don't know somebody, it's our tendency to find out all of the facts about the other person first. Where they live? Where they work?. Who their second cousins are? These questions are all good, but don't begin a conversation with them . In fact, if they don't come up, then it's even better. Have some fun while you are on a speed date. Talk about a recent travel or something curious that you've heard on the news. One of the most underused conversational pieces are current events, but there is a stigma to talk about these boring events with friends and people you don't know, so reverse it. Before the event, pick up the ne wspaper, leaf through it, get some ideas and spot a few things that you find unusual or amusing. Here are some actual headlines: 'Woman Finds Unicorn Under Her Bed' or ' Wedding Ring Deflects A Gun Shot, Saves A Life'. Stay away from serious or political issues. Now you are ready for a speed date. Speed dating is not synonymous with bore dating. So, don't take the speed dating activity too seriously because this is not a job interview. Start with a joke and then you can touch up on other elements that interest you. Remember, you only have a few minutes to have a conversation. Becoming boring by asking tedious questions is not memorable, so have fun in the conversation.


#3 Don't try to impress

Most men are trying too hard to impress a woman. What they don't know, is that when you try too hard to impress, you come off as needy. When you come off as needy, you are not going to find a match. Remember, she is there for a reason and that reason is you, a fun and interesting guy. Don't do all the talking in the conversation. Let your date ask you some questions in return. Don't brag about your great car or your well paid job, unless it naturally comes up. Removing the need to impress will do amazing things for your meeting and dating life. Arrive at each speed dating event with the attitude that you are there to have fun rather than anticipating the dread of the first date. It will make a world of difference. It's great when a conversation is going so well and you feel that you have a lot to say, and then you hear a signal to move on to meet the next woman. It's great because if you had so much fun and interesting things to talk about, you will want to see each other again. That's a match right there. There is no need to impress.


Speed dating is an exciting way of meeting new people when you come to an event with a positive attitude. Look at the event as a fun experience and a good way to meet new people rather then serious activity, and you will get a lot of matches that you like.


Art Malov
Dating Coach
www.parkbenchdating.com